Why Does Love Hurt So Good? With Ondray Pearson
Joey B. and Ondray Pearson are YouTubers and business owners. Ondray's company, ODP Media Group, provides business services and has a sister company called Why Does Love Hurt So Good. On Why Does Love Hurt So Good, Ondray offers relationship coaching and different views on love and relationships. The second edition of Ondray's book is currently on the market.
The speaker talks about how the title of his book, Why Does Love Hurt So Good?, came about. He explains that people are always looking for love, even though it often hurts them. He says that people should choose their partner based on purpose, rather than preference.
The speaker explains that often times, people pick their partner based off of preference rather than purpose. They may be drawn to someone based on their looks or the way they make them feel, but this does not guarantee that the relationship will be a happy and healthy one. The speaker suggests that it is better to find a partner whose qualities complement your own, rather than someone who is exactly like you. This way, you can have a more balanced and interesting relationship.
The conversation discuss the difficulties men have in admitting that they need help from others. The speaker notes that women will often ask men questions that they already have the answer to, in an effort to confirm their suspicions. However, men are more likely to lie in these situations because they see no benefit in telling the truth. The speaker tries to open up the horizons for women by explaining men's perspective.
Transcript
Oh, hey everybody.
Speaker:What's up?
Speaker:My name is Joey B.
Speaker:I'm just hanging out.
Speaker:We decided to go live today of all days and guess who we have with us.
Speaker:We got Andre.
Speaker:If you don't know Andre Pearson, y'all, you're gonna know him
Speaker:today cuz today we got Andre Yo.
Speaker:Always, always and always.
Speaker:Check out blind knowledge.com.
Speaker:The website is up.
Speaker:We are ready to service.
Speaker:If you need services, we are ready to promote.
Speaker:If you need promotion, we are ready to do something different.
Speaker:We have this gentleman right here, folks.
Speaker:His name is Andre Pearson.
Speaker:He is a YouTuber.
Speaker:He is a master of relationships.
Speaker:He is politically, religiously, He's just a motivated dude.
Speaker:He has opinions and he backs it up.
Speaker:I appreciate Hey, you're right on point.
Speaker:You're on point.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:Thank goodness.
Speaker:Thank goodness.
Speaker:That's a, it's a good start, you know.
Speaker:Let me ask you, Andre, you're, I already noticed you're huge on YouTube.
Speaker:What do you do and where can people find you before we get started?
Speaker:Well, my company that I run is called ODP Media Group, and under ODP Media
Speaker:Group, we provide a lot of business services and we have a lot of sister
Speaker:companies and one of the sister companies that people can find me on all the
Speaker:platforms and social media is up under.
Speaker:Why does Love hurt so good?
Speaker:Because on that channel I do a lot of relationship coaching and I
Speaker:offer different views and opinions on different videos, books, and
Speaker:things that people can understand.
Speaker:So it all the social medias, you can find me on all of them under the name.
Speaker:Why does Love Hurt so good?
Speaker:Why does love hurt?
Speaker:So good.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Now you said this is the second edition or your second book?
Speaker:This is the second book out right now.
Speaker:It's currently out on the market and of course we always
Speaker:have new books in the wings.
Speaker:We do.
Speaker:I also have, as part of my company, we have a musical cd.
Speaker:Called, uh, Crazy Genius.
Speaker:Oh, man.
Speaker:Sounds like you do a lot.
Speaker:Sounds like you do a lot.
Speaker:For sure.
Speaker:The name itself though, I gotta ask the name itself, is that something original
Speaker:or did you, did you pick it up somewhere?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Well how'd that happen?
Speaker:It's the original thing I used to use before I even did the book, that I
Speaker:would do talks with people and I always would, I'll tell them, ask the question
Speaker:rather, Why does love hurt so good?
Speaker:And people would always ask me, What about they like the title and they want
Speaker:to know about it and what exactly, you know, how did I come about Whole thing.
Speaker:And it's very simple.
Speaker:In this world we live in as people, we're always looking for someone to love.
Speaker:No matter how much our love experiences hurt us, we always
Speaker:seek out love from someone else.
Speaker:So it hurts so good.
Speaker:Not so, but so good because when it's good, it's good,
Speaker:but when it's bad, it hurts.
Speaker:No one likes to hurt.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:So we jump at, we, we take ourselves and throw back out there again.
Speaker:To find someone to fill that void of what we used to have.
Speaker:You just changed my whole vibe, Andre.
Speaker:You just changed my whole vibe.
Speaker:So, Alright.
Speaker:You talk about hurt, talk about relationships.
Speaker:You talk about the good, the bad.
Speaker:It sounds like a lot of yin yang.
Speaker:Correct.
Speaker:Good and evil.
Speaker:Good and bad, I guess.
Speaker:Um, people today do this.
Speaker:People choose their partner based on preference and they should pick
Speaker:their partner based on purpose.
Speaker:So we pick people off of preference because of the way they look, the
Speaker:way they made us feel for the moment.
Speaker:But they don't have the attributes that we need really do need to
Speaker:be and love and happy with them.
Speaker:When we pick someone on our purpose, we always pick someone that has some
Speaker:of the same qualities and attributes that we want in a, in a mate.
Speaker:And sometimes that may not be the person that's the best looking person.
Speaker:It may be someone that looks good, but they treat us nice.
Speaker:Cause you'd be surprised at how many people think that we date one another.
Speaker:Because we get along so well.
Speaker:That's not exactly what it is.
Speaker:Women don't give men second chances on dates because of how they, uh, you know,
Speaker:how much money they spent that night.
Speaker:They give men second chances on dates by the way they make them
Speaker:feel when they're with them.
Speaker:That's a lot of information there, Andre.
Speaker:That's a lot of information.
Speaker:I, I, I heard, I heard you right in my heart though, you're saying that
Speaker:it doesn't really come down to looks, it doesn't come down to situations.
Speaker:It comes down to, uh, who is the best?
Speaker:Would you say it's the best counterpart?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:You need to, we need to find someone who actually wants
Speaker:to do some things that we do.
Speaker:That can be our y to our yang, because we're not gonna find someone that's
Speaker:exactly like us that you wouldn't want nobody who's just like you.
Speaker:You'd be bored.
Speaker:That's the reason why opposites attract, you know?
Speaker:That's a good point that you're making when you have these
Speaker:conversations with, And is it mostly women or is it men and women?
Speaker:Mostly 88, but my clientele are women.
Speaker:Hmm, okay.
Speaker:So they always come to me with different scenarios and, but men do time in every
Speaker:once in a while, become neat answers as well, but they're a little bit afraid
Speaker:of letting people know they need help.
Speaker:Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker:I'd have difficulty doing that myself.
Speaker:It was hard to get that out because, just to even admit that, you know, I,
Speaker:I wouldn't wanna do that just offhand.
Speaker:But when you have these conversations, when you have these meetings or do
Speaker:you shows whatever you would classify, you know, you being helpful to another
Speaker:party or at least showing them a bigger picture, do you find that, you
Speaker:find, do you find that you encounter rather folks that are hurting.
Speaker:Or folks that are just looking to spice up their already great relationship?
Speaker:That's a good question.
Speaker:And a lot of times I come across women that I talk to who just don't understand
Speaker:their man from their perspective.
Speaker:See, women have a tendency to ask us questions that they want us to confirm
Speaker:for them and sometime for the man.
Speaker:One of the questions I get asked a lot by women is, Why do men lie?
Speaker:And I have them, I say, First of all, women coming with their
Speaker:objective is to confirm what they think is a problem from us.
Speaker:Our perspective as men are saying, I have you and a side check, What would be
Speaker:the benefit of me telling you the truth?
Speaker:Cause I could lose both you and.
Speaker:So they don't tell you the truth because they can't see a way or understand, uh,
Speaker:a reason why it's beneficial to them.
Speaker:Tell 'em doing.
Speaker:So pull up.
Speaker:There's, there's a lot to unravel there too.
Speaker:So you try to basically open up the horizons, would you say?
Speaker:Correct.
Speaker:Open up.
Speaker:Get them to understand to switch places, because if they wanna know why men do the
Speaker:things that they do or why women do the things they do, they need to understand
Speaker:exactly where they're coming from.
Speaker:So before I begin and jump into it, I have to ask some questions.
Speaker:I have to know what's going on, what you believe is going on, and what do
Speaker:you actually want to happen at the end of the conversation that we have.
Speaker:And a lot of times they just want instant answers.
Speaker:And I can tell people all the time, there is no one answer, Fix all problems.
Speaker:That's going to fix your relationship.
Speaker:Because for many of us, we gotta first understand that if there
Speaker:is a problem, you are involved.
Speaker:You person that do it by themselves.
Speaker:No one didn't just start it by themselves.
Speaker:You have to ask questions to get answers, to be, make a recommendation on things
Speaker:based on what they said was happening.
Speaker:That's interesting.
Speaker:That's interesting that you say that.
Speaker:So are they able to recognize their own, I don't know, problems or issues?
Speaker:Well, in the first 30 minutes of a two hour session, they would
Speaker:tell me everything that's wrong is blamed on the other person.
Speaker:As we continue to go on in the conversation, I let them know that the
Speaker:person that you're talking about, you had to have some involvement in it.
Speaker:Something was building up to a point where these things started to happen.
Speaker:Either you weren't listening when they were talking, or you were trying to
Speaker:be right and you didn't hear them.
Speaker:We do that quite a bit.
Speaker:We can hear people talk to us, but we are not listening.
Speaker:They can say things, but we hear 'em.
Speaker:We don't understand.
Speaker:So to hear getting clarification from things that we are doing and saying,
Speaker:we always ask a simple question.
Speaker:Just ask the person, You just said so and so, are you saying
Speaker:that this is what it is?
Speaker:Or why you feel this way?
Speaker:Because the one thing I do not do in any sessions with anyone
Speaker:is tell them how they feel.
Speaker:Try to deny that they have the feelings that they have or that
Speaker:they're wrong in the way they feel.
Speaker:You have the right to believe that.
Speaker:Can anyone actually do that?
Speaker:Can you tell someone how to feel?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Some, some people I've worked with in this, this genre can actually, in the
Speaker:wording how they position it, let the person know and feel that they are
Speaker:wrong in the way they're thinking.
Speaker:But it's not just wrong in the way you're thinking, it's changing
Speaker:your mindset to think differently.
Speaker:How do you meet with, with folks?
Speaker:Do you ever meet in person or is it mostly vi Uh, virtual, you know, virtual.
Speaker:Before the pandemic, I met them in person.
Speaker:We were meet at certain restaurants or certain places they felt
Speaker:comfortable speaking in an open room, but where people can't hear them.
Speaker:When the pandemic hit, it turned more to Zoom calls.
Speaker:And it's kind of worked out better for them because they can be comfortable in
Speaker:their own home and really talk and say what they wanna say on them with me.
Speaker:And since we don't do it live, it's a recording of a situation, we're not
Speaker:sharing the personal information if they do not give permission to do so.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So you keep Phi, hipaa, all that and back pocket.
Speaker:That's good.
Speaker:That's a good start for sure.
Speaker:For any, any kind of professional, you know, that is taking on these, you know,
Speaker:it's almost the livelihoods of these folks, you know, relationships, aren't
Speaker:they kind of the foundation of society?
Speaker:It is.
Speaker:And the thing about it's that people don't understand that everything in our life
Speaker:that we have accomplished thus far comes from relationships we've had with people.
Speaker:You would, you would not be where you are or have the things that you have or grown
Speaker:up in your business or moved around your relationship without making connections.
Speaker:Having relationships, and sometimes that could be just
Speaker:as much important as money is.
Speaker:I bet you there's some people out there that disagree.
Speaker:They just want some green in their pocket and they think they can buy the world.
Speaker:What would you say to those people?
Speaker:Well, they, they could buy the world, but as you have seen many times, many people,
Speaker:uh, when you have all them and you have no friends and nobody to share it with,
Speaker:you just spending, you're not happy.
Speaker:At the end of the day, no one can tell me this.
Speaker:No one wants to be by themselves.
Speaker:Let's just get it out there.
Speaker:You hear people say, I'm good by myself, or I'm single.
Speaker:I'm good being single.
Speaker:You may be good for the moment, but this planet and the way that
Speaker:it is designed, you are not placed here to be by yourself and no one
Speaker:wants to live a life by themselves.
Speaker:I'm gonna take the other side of that argument.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Just as, I don't know, to play devil's advocate, I guess you could say.
Speaker:What if you got hermit?
Speaker:Hermit loves to be alone maybe for, or at least for part of their life.
Speaker:Maybe they just need a year away from everything.
Speaker:I'm not saying an antisocial type, but maybe they just don't
Speaker:want to build new relationships.
Speaker:Maybe they've had experiences where they were, like you
Speaker:said at the beginning, hurt.
Speaker:How do you coach these folks?
Speaker:Well, we have to first ask the question, how do we get to where you are currently?
Speaker:And is it where you want to stay?
Speaker:Because even if you take a year off, it's someone you're going to come back into
Speaker:the fold of meeting and talking to people.
Speaker:You can't buy your groceries without talking to somebody.
Speaker:You can't go to the movies without talking to somebody.
Speaker:You can't order food without talking to somebody.
Speaker:So the question is, what level are we gonna go from zero to a hundred?
Speaker:Are we gonna step back in and start dating?
Speaker:Are we just gonna just meet friends?
Speaker:Are we just gonna have people we hang out with?
Speaker:Cause some people don't like to hang with a group of people.
Speaker:They like to be by themselves and they home bodies, which is nothing
Speaker:wrong with that, but at some point you are going to interact.
Speaker:And if you don't know how to interact, you're not going to have any friends.
Speaker:That would suck.
Speaker:I'm very grateful to have friends, to have family, to, to have relationships with,
Speaker:you know, people holding into so society.
Speaker:I've burnt bridges and I hope to never do those things ever again because I
Speaker:was young and I didn't realize that words can hurt even if you didn't
Speaker:mean them the way you said them.
Speaker:Even if it was a moment in time of arguing or anger or
Speaker:frustration or just depression.
Speaker:Just depression.
Speaker:Just being like, I don't want you in my life anymore.
Speaker:Well, someone might perceive that as, okay, they don't want me in my
Speaker:life, or they don't want me in their life, and, and there's, you know,
Speaker:that relationship is just broken.
Speaker:That happens.
Speaker:So in relationships, remember now you hear women today say, I
Speaker:don't need a man, I'm independent.
Speaker:If you look up the word independent, it says to do things alone.
Speaker:If you tell a man in front of them you don't want them or need
Speaker:them, why would they chase you?
Speaker:That's a valid point.
Speaker:You just told 'em, I don't need you.
Speaker:That's another valid point.
Speaker:Isn't um, don't they say, you know, playing hard to get is one of the ways to,
Speaker:to land a, you know, a significant other.
Speaker:Well, playing hard to get you may not get God.
Speaker:Ooh, that's true.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:Now we might have some viewers all over the world and that word God, that might
Speaker:be interpreted differently depending on religion, depending on where in the
Speaker:world someone lives, what country, what rules, what you know, knowledge they have.
Speaker:When you are talking about God, do you believe that?
Speaker:The way you present it touches on an aspect of morality or love or
Speaker:maybe understanding, or do you think you're hitting all the audiences?
Speaker:Honestly, that, that's a good question.
Speaker:I don't really try to hit them all because what I don't wanna do, cuz
Speaker:I know that according to a Christian magazine, 50% of America believes in God.
Speaker:50% don't.
Speaker:Now, outta that 50% that believe in God, only 9% have read the Bible.
Speaker:They carry around and said a following.
Speaker:That means that 41% of Americans that carry their Bible around to
Speaker:believe in God has no idea what the Bible says, and they're waiting
Speaker:for someone to tell 'em what it is.
Speaker:So when I talk to people, I never tell them that you're right or wrong,
Speaker:or believing what you believe in.
Speaker:I'm just simply saying, don't try to show me your religion when I'm not in it.
Speaker:I can hear about it, but you're not gonna convince me to move from
Speaker:where I am if it makes no sense.
Speaker:Give me a good argument, I'll look it up.
Speaker:And if you give me good information that's, that's, that's acceptable,
Speaker:then I should come to the same conclusion that you come to.
Speaker:If you can't gimme good information, then how can I come
Speaker:to conclusion that you came to?
Speaker:I think that's a valid answer.
Speaker:Just like every other answer we've grabbed from Y Andre.
Speaker:Um, you know, that's the cool thing about speaking with you, sir, is that
Speaker:you, you have an opinion, uh, usually if not always, at least in my time
Speaker:speaking with you, an educated opinion.
Speaker:And not only that, you back it up, you back it up with sources or research
Speaker:or something to validate your point.
Speaker:That's the key thing about it.
Speaker:I always ask people before I first start talking about the Bible is what
Speaker:you're getting ready to tell me what you feel, believe or what's in scripture.
Speaker:Cause if you tell me what you feel and believe, that's just your
Speaker:opinion, I have no problem with that.
Speaker:But don't tell me your, what you feel is actually real.
Speaker:You've heard people say that tithing.
Speaker:Is money.
Speaker:There's no scripture in the Bible.
Speaker:All the new that says tithe money, it's food.
Speaker:Now, if you want to have it represent money, then I can accept it.
Speaker:If you say we are collecting money to put, uh, to pay bills in the
Speaker:church, I just don't want you telling me God said, cuz he never did.
Speaker:What is tithing?
Speaker:For those that don't know, Tithing is food.
Speaker:You can look in Leviticus versus 27, 30, 31, and 32.
Speaker:It talks about food in the Old Testament.
Speaker:Or you can turn to Matthew 2323 and read about food as well.
Speaker:Now where people get confused about the whole situation is that if you
Speaker:are to bring your food to Jerusalem, and I'm in Virginia, I can't bring
Speaker:a herd of cattle on the plane.
Speaker:That's a long ride.
Speaker:That's a long travel dude.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:What it says to do is to cash in your items here in Virginia, get the money.
Speaker:Go to Jerusalem, buy the in, buy the cow, the cattle back and
Speaker:present it to God as an offering.
Speaker:Okay?
Speaker:Now, if people read the Bible who say they believe in God, Cause everybody don't,
Speaker:If you read the Bible for yourself, for your own understanding, there's no past
Speaker:that can trick you with half truths.
Speaker:So you're saying this pastor's out there with half truth pastors out
Speaker:there, not only half truth, but lies straight up lies, Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker:That's a heavy, that's a heavy, uh, argument.
Speaker:Not even an argument.
Speaker:That's a, that's just heavy right there, man.
Speaker:And I can tell you, let tell you why.
Speaker:Let me tell you why.
Speaker:Yeah, please do.
Speaker:I need some evidence to back that out.
Speaker:Dude, or just date have, uh, got two criteria that they do in church.
Speaker:They keep their congregation giving money and believing in what they say
Speaker:based on fear and, uh, uh, and doubt.
Speaker:They will get you fear in that.
Speaker:If you don't give money to a church, God's not gonna bless you.
Speaker:There's no scripture says that, but because you don't, you don't know for
Speaker:yourself, You haven't read for yourself.
Speaker:It's in the Bible, in the plain English.
Speaker:So when, when you talking about they got you up under guilt, they
Speaker:got guilting you into doing things.
Speaker:But then again, if you think about what they're doing and you read Malachi three
Speaker:eight where it says What a man God and ties and offerings is the people who
Speaker:giving money, who get tax forms back at the end of the year that is robbing God.
Speaker:Do you think God is stupid to not know you're loaning
Speaker:him the money for 12 months?
Speaker:Wait for blessings At the end of the year, you get your tax form back,
Speaker:File your taxes, get your money back.
Speaker:Go spend it.
Speaker:Are you not robbing God?
Speaker:But if you read that whole scripture, A how 3, 9, 10, 11,
Speaker:and 12, you will understand plainly it's talking about food.
Speaker:It says the meat to the storehouse, not the money.
Speaker:Bring the meat to the storehouse, not the money.
Speaker:The argument is keep process.
Speaker:Tell how all the pastors tell me.
Speaker:I talked to.
Speaker:We can't pay bills with food.
Speaker:I agree.
Speaker:You can't.
Speaker:But here's what I want you to do.
Speaker:God never said the three phrases they use on you in church to get you to get
Speaker:money outta guilt and fear is God said.
Speaker:The Bible says, and God told me to tell you.
Speaker:That's what they use as fear to get you in.
Speaker:Now because the church is today mostly are a club that in which you pay dues
Speaker:52 weeks out the year and they're not talking really about God and using God
Speaker:as the product to sell what they're trying to put out there, their narrative.
Speaker:Because if you read the Bible, you know that Tyson is given three
Speaker:to five times a year, not 52.
Speaker:So the question is, who turned food from the Bible into collecting money?
Speaker:Man did.
Speaker:Society did right?
Speaker:Oh man.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I guess look to tell you in the Bible, money is the root of all evil.
Speaker:If it is while we want it so badly, isn't it?
Speaker:Like Adam and Eve.
Speaker:The apple.
Speaker:It's like, it's, it's like the, the, the story of me to the point where
Speaker:God knew when he put them there that this is what it was gonna be.
Speaker:So if you think about the story of Adam and Eve, Adam was brought here first.
Speaker:And men always think that we are supposed to be at the top of the pyramid.
Speaker:Actually, we are not.
Speaker:We at the bottom of the pyramid because we are the foundations
Speaker:in which everything stands now.
Speaker:God put Adam in in the garden.
Speaker:He didn't even present him a woman before he presented him work.
Speaker:And it wasn't until Adam got his stuff together that God presented him a woman.
Speaker:Now, like in today's society, our job as head of household is to
Speaker:inform our wives or girlfriends, whoever we were dating, information.
Speaker:He was supposed to do the same thing about the tree of knowledge eat.
Speaker:But did he do that in the Bible?
Speaker:He did not.
Speaker:She went and ate the fruit from the tree and like an idiot.
Speaker:He turned around and took a bite as well, knowing the rules
Speaker:and regulations of that tree.
Speaker:And according to scripture, when he comes, when God comes into garden and said, Adam,
Speaker:what happened, like men do today, when we mess up things with our relationship,
Speaker:who we blame it on the woman.
Speaker:And that's exactly what Adam did in the story.
Speaker:He blames it on Eve.
Speaker:So again, the correlation between the two is exactly the same.
Speaker:Nothing has changed.
Speaker:That's re that's ridiculous.
Speaker:That's, it's amazingly ridiculous.
Speaker:It's not right.
Speaker:It's something that you would think would've been changed in our genetics
Speaker:and, you know, learning from our history.
Speaker:Why do you think we're still, you know, having that mentality?
Speaker:Because society said to you, society has told you that in certain
Speaker:households, in certain uh, cultures, we cannot have the man in the family.
Speaker:Okay?
Speaker:We cannot have the man there.
Speaker:So they had offered the woman us a selection.
Speaker:You could have section eight housing thing.
Speaker:Anthems, but that man cannot stay.
Speaker:I don't follow.
Speaker:I don't follow.
Speaker:So you're saying the woman holds down the fort and the man just gets tossed out?
Speaker:Cost.
Speaker:Cost.
Speaker:According to the law.
Speaker:If the woman want that section eight housing, that she can pay a hundred
Speaker:dollars a month for rent and get food stamp for her kid, she cannot
Speaker:be with that man in a household.
Speaker:Cuz if he is, they're gonna take everything back.
Speaker:So you're talking just specifically divorce?
Speaker:No, I'm talking about in general as far as relationships.
Speaker:In a normal household, man and woman is in the household.
Speaker:The kids and the man may pay bills or they may split the bills.
Speaker:But according to the section eight laws in the in the world, if a
Speaker:woman want to get a $1,500 a month apartment for hundred dollars a month,
Speaker:here is the rules and regulations.
Speaker:We'll give you that place $400 a month and we give you food stamps on top of it,
Speaker:but you can't have no man live with you.
Speaker:What happens if a man starts to live with her?
Speaker:She loses everything that she got free.
Speaker:Think about it.
Speaker:$1,500 rents a hundred dollars rent.
Speaker:They telling her that, Does a man get to do that?
Speaker:Like the vice versa?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:He's the man.
Speaker:He's supposed to be able to take care of himself.
Speaker:What?
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:Really, that's, that's how it is.
Speaker:Like, remember, women that are taught today in our generation right now are not
Speaker:taught in the household to love a man.
Speaker:They are taught to survive.
Speaker:Okay, I follow you.
Speaker:So, if they got a man that can take care of them, not because they
Speaker:can't take care of themselves, but a man willing to do this without
Speaker:questioning them, then they'll take it.
Speaker:He may not be the best looking man in the world.
Speaker:He may not be the, you know, tallest, whatever, but he is quiet and
Speaker:he has resources that she needs.
Speaker:Now she could be cheating with the other man that she really want to be with
Speaker:on the side, but in his face, in his neighborhood, uh, she gonna smile at him.
Speaker:And there's so many women who do that right now.
Speaker:They would do that, they would smile on the man's face, allow the man to take care
Speaker:of the children, pay the bills, clothe them, school them, medical, everything.
Speaker:When it comes to disciplining, they always say, No, you can't do that.
Speaker:Their father have to do it.
Speaker:But the question is, what hell are their father now I'm
Speaker:taking care of everything now.
Speaker:Where are they now?
Speaker:They drive by dance, they drive by and bring presents instead of being
Speaker:present in their life to all those kids, they probably have some kind
Speaker:of, um, order, court order maybe.
Speaker:Have you ever encountered that where they can't even Well, court?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:The court order, I have seen court orders for those things, but not
Speaker:to keep a man away from the child.
Speaker:The thing is that the woman has allowed to keep the man away from
Speaker:a child because she don't wanna mess with her current situation.
Speaker:Hmm.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:Was working, Yeah, she'll meet him somewhere, but he can't really just
Speaker:fall up in there when he want to because the dude may feel some type
Speaker:of way and if, and if her resources.
Speaker:Gets up and leave.
Speaker:What she gonna do, because remember the guy, the guy she's not with is not
Speaker:father material nor somebody she wanna spend her life with, that has resources.
Speaker:The dude that she's with is the one that got those things.
Speaker:So she has to play, uh, the middle of the fence and make everybody happy.
Speaker:Have you ever encountered, uh, someone in that situation that didn't know
Speaker:how to level up, that didn't know what they would do without that
Speaker:extra source of income or that extra source of security or someone else to
Speaker:discipline the child, whatever it may be?
Speaker:Were they just scared to let go?
Speaker:Maybe they were a good person and they just didn't know
Speaker:what they got themselves into.
Speaker:Like if you got it right the first time, yes, they are scared to let it go
Speaker:because you gotta keep in mind if you ha women don't find millionaires every day.
Speaker:But when you find a guy that's willing to take, take you on with
Speaker:three or four kids and they're not his, but he's willing to take on
Speaker:you and the kids cause he loves you.
Speaker:That is rare.
Speaker:That is very rare to find a guy willing to take on you and other kids
Speaker:by other men and take care of you.
Speaker:She can't mess that up.
Speaker:Right now in the book, when I describe that cons, uh, that
Speaker:information, I describe it as, they call women have monkey arms.
Speaker:You ever seen a monkey in the tree?
Speaker:He never let goes the branch.
Speaker:Hold on to gets another one.
Speaker:Oh oh oh.
Speaker:You're not go.
Speaker:He's not gonna let go of you until you find another one.
Speaker:I got what you're saying.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:Like from one swing to the next, to the next.
Speaker:They don't fall usually.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:Cause he hold on until they get another grip to another one goes on.
Speaker:It's equal.
Speaker:So the tree is just equally strong as this tree was.
Speaker:So he can swing, one will find a guy equally, if not more money than
Speaker:the person's prior to them taking care of him and go with them.
Speaker:Then she knows for sure she gone.
Speaker:Then she'll say things like, We're just not working out, we're not compatible.
Speaker:I think I should just leave.
Speaker:In other words, I got another guy that's bigger than better than you
Speaker:and now I can go over and be there.
Speaker:I'm out.
Speaker:Would you consider those excuses?
Speaker:Oh.
Speaker:Or would you just consider that the status quo?
Speaker:The status quo.
Speaker:Because men would do the same thing.
Speaker:Men would have get tired of the woman, have another woman on
Speaker:the side, have it all set up.
Speaker:So a woman get the argument with him cuz he bas you into the argument.
Speaker:Can you say the words, Get your stuff and get out.
Speaker:He's ready to go.
Speaker:Hmm.
Speaker:Then when he leaves, Yeah.
Speaker:Then when he leaves, then she's standing, going like, What?
Speaker:I didn't really mean for him to leave.
Speaker:I just was mad at him.
Speaker:But you gave him the out that he wanted.
Speaker:Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:The um, the option, the out, like you said, how long you been doing this, man?
Speaker:How long have you been, how long have you been doing this kind of relationship
Speaker:strengthening and, um, understanding and, and all of this great work that you do?
Speaker:I've been doing this since college.
Speaker:It was for fun to help people.
Speaker:Early in college.
Speaker:Oh, cool.
Speaker:So you started for fun.
Speaker:That's, Yeah, it was fun.
Speaker:See, that's, that's from the heart.
Speaker:That's I, I respect that a lot because I wanted to help men that, that was in my
Speaker:class, you know, that I was dealing with.
Speaker:To understand the women that you dealing with right now, they're not stupid.
Speaker:They know what you're doing.
Speaker:They know what you want from 'em.
Speaker:They're not stupid, but these gangs that you playing, I have to get them to
Speaker:understand that if you play games, you have to understand that the object of
Speaker:games, that somebody win, somebody loses.
Speaker:Over the last school plus years, I've learned these, I learned
Speaker:this and now I turned it, do my YouTube channel and wrote the book.
Speaker:But the YouTube guys I was dealing with, and some of the people
Speaker:that was iHeartRadio said, You should turn this into podcasts.
Speaker:You should do a book.
Speaker:You should do this.
Speaker:You just do that and charge.
Speaker:I said, Well, yeah, I could.
Speaker:I could.
Speaker:I mean, it's fun.
Speaker:I'm still fun.
Speaker:To me, I can do that.
Speaker:And it just kind of picked up because people I deal with and talk
Speaker:to from different places on the internet, from different social media
Speaker:platforms, They say the same thing.
Speaker:They have problems.
Speaker:They just don't know who to go to to answer them.
Speaker:Because here's the deal that you have.
Speaker:When you get mad at your girlfriend, you go to your guys, she go to
Speaker:her girlfriends, your friends are gonna tell you what you need to
Speaker:hear cuz they're your friends.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Usually they're not gonna tell you the truth.
Speaker:They're gonna tell you what they want to hear.
Speaker:Now, I took you tell your friends what your business is.
Speaker:Let's say two weeks after the fact, you two get back together.
Speaker:You all lovey Debbie.
Speaker:In two weeks.
Speaker:Those friends are looking at both of y'all on both sides.
Speaker:Like what a fool is he what the fullest.
Speaker:She go back after all the things you told me that happened to him two weeks earlier.
Speaker:So after all the bickering, after he said, and she said, in all the events
Speaker:that happened over two weeks time, all the negative things, the two, the
Speaker:two just come right back together.
Speaker:And the friends are probably just like, Okay.
Speaker:So now we come to them again.
Speaker:They're not gonna treat you the same because you may
Speaker:end up back with 'em again.
Speaker:So we're just gonna look at you strangely.
Speaker:And so the trust.
Speaker:Trust is gone.
Speaker:Correct?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Do you feel like you've helped a lot of people?
Speaker:Do you feel like you have not helped a lot of people?
Speaker:Do you feel like you've helped more than not helped where
Speaker:some not able to be helped?
Speaker:You know, I would.
Speaker:I would gather, imagine at least naive at 10.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I helped quite a few save their relationships.
Speaker:They end up getting married and live a happy life.
Speaker:But I do encounter people who want to fight me on the information
Speaker:because they don't want to change.
Speaker:They don't want to change.
Speaker:So if we find out for a fact that the problems you have in your relationship,
Speaker:you help contribute to it, the way to get over it is to admit that you
Speaker:had something to do with it for guys.
Speaker:And for many guys, they always say, Oh no, I ain't nothing to do it.
Speaker:You just, you just crazy.
Speaker:No, you're, you are mirror to her.
Speaker:She mirrors what you give to her.
Speaker:You give her love, she give it to you 10 times back.
Speaker:You give her hate.
Speaker:She's gonna give you hate 10 times back.
Speaker:That's why they always tell you about how a woman gets scorn.
Speaker:Cause think women have told me nothing.
Speaker:Makes them feel more alone than laying in the bed beside
Speaker:their mate and feeling lonely.
Speaker:Yeah, that is, that's a different kind of lonely when there's
Speaker:someone that supposedly you love and supposedly loves you back and
Speaker:you feel alone in the same bad.
Speaker:Ooh, that hurts.
Speaker:Why do men cheat?
Speaker:People say, Why do men cheat?
Speaker:Why I get why men cheat?
Speaker:Cause they can.
Speaker:Women say yes, they say yes.
Speaker:Cause men's jobs, if we understand us as people for, for instance, women
Speaker:that are raised as children, Play with baby dolls at some point, maybe.
Speaker:Yeah, probably the majority.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And they get older.
Speaker:They start taking care of other people's children for money babysitting.
Speaker:So when they get as an adult and have a child, they can multitask a thousand
Speaker:things because they've been doing this kind of thing all their lives.
Speaker:They already know.
Speaker:They already know.
Speaker:The repetition started when with Barbie.
Speaker:So now for men though, it's a different story.
Speaker:Women say, Why do men play games?
Speaker:Well, let's look how you were raised when you played sports.
Speaker:Basketball, football, baseball.
Speaker:What was the object?
Speaker:Strategize and win.
Speaker:That's it.
Speaker:That's the name of the game.
Speaker:It was never to tie.
Speaker:It was never to tie and feel good for playing the game.
Speaker:You went into the game to win with the object to win.
Speaker:You play to win the game.
Speaker:So when you would start dating a woman, your job is to strategize and win.
Speaker:Meaning get her and sleep with her.
Speaker:That's your, that's your job.
Speaker:Yes, it.
Speaker:It's because men's needs is in their head.
Speaker:A woman's need is in her heart.
Speaker:Let me ask you this though.
Speaker:Let's say the woman cheats on the man.
Speaker:Man doesn't know what to do.
Speaker:Woman feels bad.
Speaker:They try to figure out how they can come back together.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Have you ever encounter, It's funny you should ask that question because in the
Speaker:current video I'm working on for next week to be on my channel is called Why does
Speaker:men, Why Men and Women Can't Be Friends?
Speaker:Oh, wow.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:See women, Women look at guys in one of two states.
Speaker:Either they're friends on or they're a lover.
Speaker:Men on the other hand, see women as lovers or nothing at all.
Speaker:We can't have a middle ground.
Speaker:If she cheats on him, his ego can't take it, so he'd rather leave it.
Speaker:If he works on it, he knows if he stays.
Speaker:Not only does she got him in the corner, but his boys around him
Speaker:gonna say, Look what she did to you.
Speaker:She's running you.
Speaker:So he'd rather quit the situation and leave period.
Speaker:But women on the other hand, when men cheat, men expect women to stay with
Speaker:them regardless and work it out because they're so-called are a good man.
Speaker:But if you were a good man, you would've thought about what it
Speaker:would feel like to her if she find out that you cheated on her.
Speaker:But we don't, we don't think about consequences.
Speaker:Wouldn't you say we?
Speaker:You mean men?
Speaker:Men.
Speaker:Men don't think about the consequences they of the woman that they're with.
Speaker:How would the woman feel when she finds this out?
Speaker:Cuz women gonna always find out we're going to tell it on
Speaker:ourselves and this is how we do.
Speaker:And that's the majority, right?
Speaker:Majority of at every situation.
Speaker:That's, that's 99.9% of men were telling themselves when they cheat.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:And this is how they do it.
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:Men too.
Speaker:I gotta know.
Speaker:I got, Men will go, men have to tell when they got a side check,
Speaker:they gotta go tell somebody.
Speaker:They got a side check.
Speaker:They tell their friends, Tell somebody, show a picture and everything.
Speaker:They might even bring 'em out to one of the little get togethers that y'all have
Speaker:that the wife's not gonna be at, but the girlfriend's not gonna be around.
Speaker:Now it's all good until one of your friends who can't get a girl who
Speaker:having problems keeping a woman know that you are, have a side check.
Speaker:She'll get in front of your girlfriend and say, Hey, you were talk to Sheila.
Speaker:He's like, Hey, why?
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Hey, why you did She saying, Who is Sheila?
Speaker:Now?
Speaker:You gotta stand there and come with this story.
Speaker:Get you, get yourself outta trouble.
Speaker:But he knew what he was doing because he's jealous of you.
Speaker:The reason so many men, women get away with it more than men is
Speaker:because they tell one girlfriend.
Speaker:And they keep their mouth shut.
Speaker:But here's the danger.
Speaker:Men can have sex with any woman on this planet without even knowing her name.
Speaker:Women have to have some kind of relationship with the person
Speaker:they're cheating on because they have to like 'em a little bit.
Speaker:They get in danger of catching feelings.
Speaker:Men don't catch feelings like that often.
Speaker:It does happen once.
Speaker:So every, I blew moon, but not as often as, as for women.
Speaker:But women catch feelings and now they wanna get clingy.
Speaker:Now they wanna get close to you.
Speaker:Be, spend more time with you.
Speaker:Well, it's hard for the man cheating to spend time like that when he got a woman.
Speaker:Now she gonna get suspicious.
Speaker:That makes sense, That makes sense.
Speaker:I follow all the logic here.
Speaker:The reason why I bring up that question is because the last, it's a personal thing.
Speaker:The last, um, long term relationship I was in was about two years.
Speaker:Um, I was gonna propose and then something happened where actually
Speaker:she got a promotion over me at work.
Speaker:So she got a different job.
Speaker:Um, and then all at the same time, it was like the same one or two weeks.
Speaker:She just ghosted me.
Speaker:Literally ghosted me.
Speaker:I, I never, to this day, I have no idea what happened.
Speaker:If I, what if or what or what I did wrong, what went wrong?
Speaker:It hurts to even say it.
Speaker:I don't under, I still don't understand it.
Speaker:And it affects me still today.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It may not be the situation that happened with you, but it could have
Speaker:been a situation of she needed be with you for you to build her self-esteem.
Speaker:And when she got her self-esteem built, she moved on to something and now she
Speaker:remember she wasn't, she didn't think she was the prettiest girl, but you told
Speaker:her every day she was the prettiest girl.
Speaker:You built that self esteem up for her.
Speaker:Oh yeah.
Speaker:And now that she became, now she knows she's got, she's beautiful.
Speaker:She's this and she's crafted.
Speaker:She's all this and everything in the bag of chips now.
Speaker:She said, You know what?
Speaker:I don't need them anymore.
Speaker:So she just went on to the next thing.
Speaker:Maybe I was stale.
Speaker:Maybe I was stale chips.
Speaker:So what happened was she outgrew you in that moment when she got her confidence.
Speaker:Just in that moment when she got that promotion, that promotion get rid of come.
Speaker:I see where you, Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker:That's the spark and the change.
Speaker:It just hurts.
Speaker:It's, it makes me really hollow cuz what we hope, We hope that every
Speaker:time we meet someone new and we get a chance to sit down and get to
Speaker:know them better and we hoping that they, we know that they can hurt us.
Speaker:People always say, Well if you love someone, they wouldn't hurt you.
Speaker:Let's get that myth out the way love and pain comes together.
Speaker:They're in suffer.
Speaker:What you're hoping though is this, that someone that you're with would
Speaker:love you more than they hurt you.
Speaker:You would hope so does.
Speaker:Do you think that a partner or a man and a wife, or even just a wife and a
Speaker:wife, man and a man, whatever, male, female, non-identifying, whatever
Speaker:it is, the relationship, do you think it's ever a hundred percent
Speaker:truthful or do you think there's.
Speaker:Never will be, Never will be, Never, never.
Speaker:We will always negotiate and compromise in a relationship.
Speaker:You would never have 100% of someone at all.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Because no one wants to be that vulnerable to no one.
Speaker:But it's supposed to be your counterpart.
Speaker:It's someone that makes you, You feel scared though.
Speaker:You're still scared of giving that.
Speaker:Think about it.
Speaker:If you tell your mate out of, out of cause you love her, that your
Speaker:sister was an alcoholic years ago.
Speaker:That was like you told like two years ago.
Speaker:Now you arguing today, you know what she's gonna bring up.
Speaker:That's why your sister was an alcoholic.
Speaker:And you going like, Whoa, whoa, I told you that.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:Cause you know now you going because it hurts.
Speaker:It's like a dagger.
Speaker:So now you shut down cuz that's what men do.
Speaker:We shut down.
Speaker:We don't argue.
Speaker:We shut down.
Speaker:Now when the girl says talk to us, she tells her girlfriends, uh, you
Speaker:don't talk to me like you used to it.
Speaker:You used open up and going on.
Speaker:There's the reason why she told you something that was personal to him.
Speaker:You took it and you used it the wrong way.
Speaker:Now men do the same thing sometimes, but women do it more often.
Speaker:Try to get control over you.
Speaker:Y'all.
Speaker:If you're out there on Twitter, if you're out there on Twitch, if you're out there
Speaker:on YouTube, if you are outside listening to me right now, we'll sub y'all.
Speaker:This is Blind Knowledge.
Speaker:We're dropping knowledge with Andre Pearson.
Speaker:Andre Pearson is an author.
Speaker:He is.
Speaker:Got a new book out called Why Does Love Hurt So Bad?
Speaker:That's why does love hurt so good.
Speaker:Thank you for correcting me because in the reason why I got messed up there
Speaker:is because sometimes it hurts bad.
Speaker:Why'd you go with good?
Speaker:Because if you hurt bad, you have to ask yourself the question,
Speaker:the definition of insanity.
Speaker:What is it you, The same thing and hoping things change.
Speaker:Or if it hurts bad, then why you keep looking for it?
Speaker:Cause it's, they're insane.
Speaker:You're insane.
Speaker:If it hurts, good.
Speaker:That means at some point in every time you were together, that it was
Speaker:good to you that you had something to go back and look forward to.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:When my girl, uh, ghosted me.
Speaker:You know, I didn't, I didn't go back.
Speaker:I, I thought about just like showing up.
Speaker:I sent emails, I sent texts, I sent, I was blocked from every single social media.
Speaker:And then, you know, you can only try so much.
Speaker:And if you try, if you over try, you know, if I was just to show up unexpectedly
Speaker:or make or feel uncomfortable, you know, that wouldn't be love.
Speaker:That wouldn't be moral.
Speaker:And that would be insanity, I think.
Speaker:I think there's a line there.
Speaker:Well, the back of your mind though, the back of your mind, the reason
Speaker:you didn't do those things is because you knew it make you look foolish.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:There was no resolution to doing that.
Speaker:Call her.
Speaker:So what, She talked, you talked, let's say she talked to you today.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:What do you wanna say to her?
Speaker:She's already made decision.
Speaker:Why, where, where you been and why you ghost me.
Speaker:Well, what answer could she give you to put your mind at ease and
Speaker:let you move on about your business?
Speaker:Um, none.
Speaker:That's why she chose not to do it, cuz it's, it's pointless to her.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And that makes sense.
Speaker:It makes sense for, um, a man not to overly pursue if they're in their right
Speaker:mind, um, instinctually, you know, because wasn't it for them, the woman's not gonna
Speaker:wanna come back in that situation anyway.
Speaker:It's just, it's interesting.
Speaker:You know, I, I know you have pointed out that, you know, we
Speaker:have men that do men things.
Speaker:We have women that do women things.
Speaker:I can't help a question that there's gotta be more of men
Speaker:doing women things and women doing men things and, and vice versa.
Speaker:It's just hard for me to wrap my head around, um, you know, strict categories.
Speaker:And I know you said like 9.9 outta 10 for this, and, and maybe you know
Speaker:a different percentage for that, but you're saying mostly it's, it is true.
Speaker:Did you.
Speaker:Like, did you know that already when you got into this field?
Speaker:Or was it something that surprised you when you learned like, Cause
Speaker:for me that just like I, I'm having trouble like wrapping my mind around.
Speaker:I can't believe it.
Speaker:I learned to hardly, Cause I had, like you, I had a girlfriend in high school,
Speaker:10th grade, and she broke up with me.
Speaker:And the reason she gave for me for breaking up with me cuz she
Speaker:said, you were too nice to me.
Speaker:And I'm sitting there going like, so you, you broke up because I treat
Speaker:you nicely so you weren't an asshole.
Speaker:And Exactly.
Speaker:So I said, makes sense.
Speaker:Do you want that kind of person to kinda in your life?
Speaker:And technically, basically that's what most women in their early twenties want.
Speaker:That's why they chased a bad guy.
Speaker:The bad boy is exciting because he breaks the rules.
Speaker:Now here's the, here's the, here's the problem with that though.
Speaker:When the bad boy turns 40 and you're 40, there's a 25 year old
Speaker:that pops in his life and Yes.
Speaker:So he now chooses 25 year old.
Speaker:Now he's better than you are.
Speaker:But she can be trained mentally.
Speaker:Is that why that wasn't the first one, Two or three reasons that popped into my head.
Speaker:We can train.
Speaker:It's easier to train her brand new than to change your mindset.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So it's like starting new with clay.
Speaker:Yeah, because think about it.
Speaker:When older men get old, they date younger women.
Speaker:People always say, Oh man, he's, he's a, he's a player.
Speaker:He's a player.
Speaker:But when a older woman dates a younger guy, she's, they
Speaker:thinking to her, she's a cougar.
Speaker:Oh, she robbing the cradle.
Speaker:But you gotta think of the, think of the big picture here.
Speaker:Let's look at the big picture here.
Speaker:The younger, the older, older man might marry that younger woman.
Speaker:He might just marry her.
Speaker:But there's no way in green God's earth that that 25 year old is
Speaker:trying to marry that 45 year old and settle down and take care of her.
Speaker:I dunno, man.
Speaker:I don't know why, why?
Speaker:There's gotta be an exception.
Speaker:I, I, I believe you that most No.
Speaker:Think about that.
Speaker:Think about that for a second.
Speaker:Think about for a second.
Speaker:You're 25 years old and they're 25 year old women in your eyes that
Speaker:you can see, that looks great.
Speaker:Do you really believe that that 25 year old, old boy got with that
Speaker:older woman to marry and take care of her as the man of the household?
Speaker:Oh, no.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:Not at all.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:So he knows why he's there.
Speaker:That makes sense.
Speaker:This agenda is to sleep with you.
Speaker:She probably paying them trinkets and things to keep 'em happy and be
Speaker:with her, but the end of the road, the end game is not gonna be marriage
Speaker:in most cases because you look at that young five year old girl that
Speaker:can have kids that can do things and go places going on, you're older.
Speaker:You don't have that anymore like that.
Speaker:You may not can have kids.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And you've kind of as a 45, you said 40, Right?
Speaker:46, 45 person.
Speaker:When you get that old to a point like that in your life, there are certain
Speaker:things that you get settled with that at 25 you is not ready to set.
Speaker:That makes sense.
Speaker:All right, Andre.
Speaker:I don't know what to do with my, uh, energy right now because.
Speaker:It makes sense.
Speaker:What you say makes sense when you say it.
Speaker:And I, I think that's really one of your strengths, really.
Speaker:Um, from what I have, um, what, what I have learned in, in the short amount of
Speaker:conversations that we've had is that you have a great way of presenting, um, a full
Speaker:picture, you know, a full spectrum, if you will, of, of scenarios that could happen.
Speaker:It's almost like pathways.
Speaker:It's almost like a, um, I don't know how to describe it, like a old school book
Speaker:that you might read as an elementary school kid and you get to the bottom of
Speaker:the page, it's like, turn to page 93.
Speaker:If you think Charlie falls down the, well turn to page 72 if you
Speaker:think Charlie jumps over the well, you know, and I appreciate that.
Speaker:And that's how my book is actually written when people read it
Speaker:cuz I incorporate scriptures.
Speaker:With information about relationships because they coincide.
Speaker:Okay, how do you do that?
Speaker:What men today believe in the Old Testament, it says that men had a lot
Speaker:of wives, Sodom had a lot of wives, and this is true, but God did not sanctify
Speaker:you to have more than one partner, He says in Ephesians chapter five.
Speaker:So when you thinking that that's what God the Bible says, that's what you say.
Speaker:You wanna go along with that not God.
Speaker:But man, that's interesting.
Speaker:That's some high level stuff right there.
Speaker:What?
Speaker:God is lying to us.
Speaker:He'll take your choice.
Speaker:He, he cuz he said that if he's lying to us and it's okay to have a bunch
Speaker:of bunch of partners, then why would he tell us in Ephesians chapter five
Speaker:about marriage, to be with one man, get with your woman, Cleave tour.
Speaker:Why would he say all that if he intended us to have multiple women?
Speaker:So you're saying, uh, that that gentleman in the Bible was basically a polygamous.
Speaker:And multiple wives, even though it was God's will for him to
Speaker:have one wife, he did it anyway.
Speaker:Almost like the Adam and Eve thing.
Speaker:That was his choice.
Speaker:It was not God said to do it.
Speaker:He chose to do it.
Speaker:So when God took, took him away from that situation, made everything bad.
Speaker:Now he is wondering why God did this to me.
Speaker:Well, God said one woman.
Speaker:One man.
Speaker:You said men with multiple women.
Speaker:So what does parents do when you tell parents that you're not to
Speaker:do something and you do it anyway?
Speaker:What happened?
Speaker:She punished . But you know why we do it right?
Speaker:Especially when we're younger and immature.
Speaker:Well, we do it.
Speaker:We do it because it's a dare.
Speaker:It's like a good little dare to us to see.
Speaker:But here's the problem.
Speaker:When you realize that that dare brings you problems and your goodness gets you
Speaker:rewarded, then you switch the mindset of, you know what, If I do good, I get paid.
Speaker:I do bad.
Speaker:I get punish.
Speaker:Let me do good cause I, I like good over the head.
Speaker:I like to eat.
Speaker:I like to be clothed.
Speaker:I like a roof over my head.
Speaker:I like to be loved by the person I'm sleeping next to.
Speaker:And that takes a lot of negotiating and compromising all of your
Speaker:life that you're together.
Speaker:There is no, you gonna get your way every time you open your mouth.
Speaker:It's not that, Pick your battles, which is more important to you.
Speaker:Cuz think about this right here.
Speaker:If you are a, a man and your one who wants to talk to you about her day,
Speaker:you know right now all you really want as a man, cuz this is men.
Speaker:Men want highlights.
Speaker:What do you mean?
Speaker:We want highlights to a, to a, uh, conversation.
Speaker:Women on the other hand, they want details.
Speaker:We're sitting there watching tv.
Speaker:They wanna tell us their whole entire day.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I, I, now I follow you.
Speaker:Okay, So you're saying men are cool with just bullet points, highlights.
Speaker:Women want the whole story, they want the novel, they want all the
Speaker:info, the details, like you said, they wanna tell you how it started,
Speaker:what time of day has happened.
Speaker:And, but George, what happened?
Speaker:Did he, did he say something to you?
Speaker:You want the, just gimme the highlights here.
Speaker:So, uh, the seeds, basically, you, you get to pull out where these seeds
Speaker:were planted and that that person, in this case, the, the woman, right, If
Speaker:I'm falling correctly, they come to the realization that that's where this
Speaker:growth of whatever the incident may have been, that's where it started.
Speaker:Correct.
Speaker:Because remember now as the man, your job as the head of household
Speaker:is to make sure that everything in your household is in alignment.
Speaker:That's true, man, In the house.
Speaker:Protect her, oversee her.
Speaker:You're responsible for everything under your roof.
Speaker:So if your woman acts out and do things bad, you can't get mad at her.
Speaker:Your job is to correct her to the point where she get back in
Speaker:alignment with the way things are.
Speaker:This is why relationships sometime have arguments because when the man is supposed
Speaker:to be the breadwinner and the woman is the breadwinner, the man can't tell the woman
Speaker:anything cuz she's taking care of you.
Speaker:That's an interesting dynamic.
Speaker:Have you ever encountered that?
Speaker:I have met, I've met mid clients who had that same situation where the woman
Speaker:made more money and the man made less.
Speaker:And before the woman made more money, she was humble because he made more money.
Speaker:She was up under him and everything was cool.
Speaker:But the moment she got over him, she had a whole new attitude.
Speaker:Now she want him to do better, be better, do it.
Speaker:She's telling him what to do.
Speaker:Now here's the thing.
Speaker:When men say 50 50 in the.
Speaker:In relationships.
Speaker:So that's what they want.
Speaker:Let's be clear.
Speaker:If you are, if you are a Christian person or believe in God, there is no
Speaker:scripture in the Bible that says A man and woman should be splitting bills 50 50.
Speaker:That's, yeah.
Speaker:The, that wouldn't, There were no bills back when the scripture was dress.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:We'd say that the household duties was not split.
Speaker:Makes perfect sense.
Speaker:Makes perfect sense.
Speaker:We're mingle.
Speaker:Make the money.
Speaker:Mingle, make the money.
Speaker:Women manages the money.
Speaker:That's how it works.
Speaker:Still to this day, you're saying, but in, in society today, in 2022,
Speaker:the man wants the woman to pay 50 50, not because he wants her to pay half.
Speaker:He wants to make sure she's contributing to the relationship.
Speaker:Oh, I see.
Speaker:That's why when you, when you hear the term a man tell a woman, what
Speaker:do you bring to the relationship?
Speaker:What he's really saying?
Speaker:Because what women here is financial, but what he's really saying to the woman
Speaker:is this, What, besides your body, are you contributing to the relationship?
Speaker:And things that I want and need since I have agreed to give you what you want.
Speaker:So what are men looking for?
Speaker:What's, What's the factor there?
Speaker:Is it sex?
Speaker:Is it just attention?
Speaker:Well, sex is not on the top of the list, but the number one thing that
Speaker:most women mention to me that they really want from relationship is peace.
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:You do.
Speaker:You wanna argue every day what you're, Every day?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:Never.
Speaker:Actually, your house is, must be your kingdom, not your prison.
Speaker:Because women come, you walk in the door.
Speaker:You walk in the door, First thing you should do is why you take trash out.
Speaker:Why you didn't do this?
Speaker:Why gimme five minutes to get in the house?
Speaker:Oh, sit down for a minute.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:You want some things.
Speaker:So it's like, that's why, That's why men never come home.
Speaker:Men don't come directly home these days.
Speaker:They go to the bar, hang with to friends because they gotta get ready here,
Speaker:ready, mentally go home to hear this.
Speaker:And that's not a good start and that's not a good transition.
Speaker:And that's usually the end.
Speaker:It is in most cases, because they want peace.
Speaker:I mean, they're not saying not to talk to me at all.
Speaker:But give me five minutes to get into, do it, get undressed, sit down, get
Speaker:comfortable, get a meal or something.
Speaker:Let me get myself together before you start telling me what
Speaker:I didn't do, what I didn't do.
Speaker:It's always what I didn't do.
Speaker:It's never that I did something right.
Speaker:You didn't take outta trash, you didn't vacuum.
Speaker:You looked at this on this, you looked at this.
Speaker:It's like all the negative.
Speaker:Why would I wanna hear that?
Speaker:Oh, makes you I I, Or just hearing that.
Speaker:I wouldn't want to hear that like after a long day.
Speaker:You know, a lot of women in relationships are dream killers.
Speaker:I'm sorry, they're dream killers.
Speaker:A lot of women in dream killers.
Speaker:So if you do a radio show now you wanna be a baker, you wanna try baking, You
Speaker:tell your woman, I wanna try to do baking.
Speaker:She's thinking about the income that you make from what you currently
Speaker:do and how that may drop off.
Speaker:And her lifestyle may drop off if you try something different and it don't work.
Speaker:So she'd tell you, Why would you leave this one?
Speaker:It works just fine.
Speaker:And go try something that you don't know how to do.
Speaker:She's supposed to be supporting you.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Not her.
Speaker:Our job is to encourage, not to discourage.
Speaker:I like that.
Speaker:I like that.
Speaker:It, the job is to encourage.
Speaker:Not discouraged.
Speaker:I like what you said earlier too about recovery.
Speaker:Um, I know that in, um, like AA and a realizing that there is an issue, a
Speaker:problem, something is a is is just awry.
Speaker:How hard is it to get that?
Speaker:It's hard for women a lot of times because someone has sat down to me
Speaker:and told me they had three boyfriends, three boyfriends left them, left her.
Speaker:And I have to ask this question.
Speaker:It's a hard question cuz it's the truth.
Speaker:Could you think that the denomination, this whole thing is you, could it
Speaker:be Yout always say they did this and they did the, well, the center of
Speaker:this whole thing is you, what did you do or say to make them wanna lead?
Speaker:She never think women like that, never think that they did anything at all.
Speaker:They think the men made them do things.
Speaker:Do you find that is the same on the other end for the men?
Speaker:For the men.
Speaker:The men just say that women don't understand and actually they don't.
Speaker:One of the things that women find hard to do in any relationship in any.
Speaker:Is to listen.
Speaker:Listening for most women is not a good thing for them because they
Speaker:think they know the answers already.
Speaker:They think they know where you're going with it already and they don't.
Speaker:That's all men say they don't wanna talk to you cuz you don't listen.
Speaker:If I tell you my arm hurt, let's say for instance you come and say,
Speaker:Honey, uh, the job laid us off today.
Speaker:All she heard translation was you did something wrong.
Speaker:And she asked you by saying, What'd you do now?
Speaker:I didn't do anything.
Speaker:The job decided to lay me off, you know, whatever.
Speaker:I'm going back to work next week.
Speaker:Whatever.
Speaker:What'd you do?
Speaker:You had to do something.
Speaker:It wouldn't just lay you off for nothing.
Speaker:Are you listening to me?
Speaker:Are you listening to me?
Speaker:I'm telling you today, laid me off and will return my next week.
Speaker:But right now laid off, she cannot hear that.
Speaker:What she heard was, you're not working, you're not making no money.
Speaker:And how we gonna live interest?
Speaker:Very interesting.
Speaker:We're on blind knowledge.com.
Speaker:We'll be up there.
Speaker:We're probably up there right now.
Speaker:You can have five year screen blind knowledge.com.
Speaker:I'm chilling with the man, the myth, the legend, and now you know him.
Speaker:Andre, quick question.
Speaker:What's your favorite color?
Speaker:Burgundy.
Speaker:Burgundy.
Speaker:Interesting choice.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Just like the feel.
Speaker:It's, it's a, it's a fall or a summer thing, so it's not too much work to do it.
Speaker:It can be either one.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I mean, it's an open-ended question.
Speaker:Like, my favorite color is blue some days, some days it's green.
Speaker:You know, I, I like, and there's no reason for it.
Speaker:I find that like different, different questions like that simple stuff
Speaker:like what's your favorite animal that you'd be if you had to be an
Speaker:animal or what's your favorite color?
Speaker:It resonates, it resonates, um, with your inners, you know, your, um, you
Speaker:know, your subconscious, you know, Freud said that there's, oh, what was it?
Speaker:The ego, the super ego and the id, I believe, And there's the different levels.
Speaker:I think I said it out outta order.
Speaker:The id, the ego and the super ego.
Speaker:So what I'm getting at here is it sounds like you have a great way of
Speaker:getting into these areas that maybe there's walls up when you have to
Speaker:knock down these brick walls, or maybe they're just fiberglass walls, you
Speaker:know, no matter if it's tough to get through or easy, how do you feel after?
Speaker:Do you ever feel, do you feel satisfied?
Speaker:Are you happy?
Speaker:Do you feel ever feel bad?
Speaker:Like is it always a good experience?
Speaker:Good question.
Speaker:I feel I would probably say good about my approach to get the answer.
Speaker:I don't feel bad about getting the answer cuz it's part of the process.
Speaker:Good example.
Speaker:I would not, if I wanted to get deeper on, so this, I wanna ask a tough question.
Speaker:I would ask it in a form of a question.
Speaker:Would you feel that your actions trust him to do what he did with you?
Speaker:They would answer me and they gimme the truth.
Speaker:But I didn't say, Tell me what's wrong.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:It's like, direct, make 'em shut down.
Speaker:I ask him a form of a question.
Speaker:, you don't have like paragraphs on a, on a, uh, on a spreadsheet.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Do you find that people lie to you or are you able to tell?
Speaker:Very much so.
Speaker:Very much so.
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:Oh man.
Speaker:That's the first 30 minutes can be a 30 minutes of lies or 30
Speaker:minutes of the truth on a date.
Speaker:When a guy's dating a woman the first 30 minutes, I tell women of that date.
Speaker:He's telling you the truth, but he's watching to see if your eyes light up.
Speaker:If your eyes light up on the things he says, he keep telling you the truth.
Speaker:But if you look like you're disinterested in what he's saying,
Speaker:he will go to and resort to a lie.
Speaker:So it'll switch it up and even lie just to make those eyes listen.
Speaker:Now, for the woman in, in a session and the woman in a session, when I'm talking
Speaker:to her, the first 30 minutes is spent on telling me a lie because she don't
Speaker:want me to think that she's a bad woman.
Speaker:She's a bad person or she can't be good, or she can't be loved, anything like that.
Speaker:So she tells me the, the information in the way of, he
Speaker:did this first, so I reacted.
Speaker:He said this, so I react.
Speaker:I did this, he did this.
Speaker:It's always he did, He did.
Speaker:He, he did.
Speaker:It's never, maybe I did something or could have done something,
Speaker:or maybe I said something wrong.
Speaker:My tongue was the wrong way, so I was too slick in what I say.
Speaker:None of that comes resonate with during the first 30 minutes.
Speaker:By the time we get through in that first 30 minutes and get to the next
Speaker:30 minutes, I start asking questions, what I call valid questions, concerning,
Speaker:tell me exactly what happened.
Speaker:What did you say?
Speaker:What did you, either he say, What did you do?
Speaker:What did you, what did he do?
Speaker:Then we find out that that what was said and done was a reaction to
Speaker:something that, that was over here, but that didn't come directly from him.
Speaker:Some of it came from you as.
Speaker:Your reaction to what he said or was doing was not a positive reaction.
Speaker:It was more of a negative reaction, which men don't like to hear
Speaker:being negative all the time.
Speaker:So get your positive answers.
Speaker:You came negative, you took it as negative, he responded negatively.
Speaker:So now you're going nowhere.
Speaker:I have learned so much.
Speaker:I hope y'all out there have learned, uh, as much as I have.
Speaker:We're gonna go ahead and we're gonna promote all your information
Speaker:over on Blind Knowledge, uh, Twitter, Blind Under Knowledge.
Speaker:We'll hook you up with, um, as much promotion as we can.
Speaker:And thank you for spending the time with me.
Speaker:Thank you for enlightening me and hopefully in the enlightenment of
Speaker:myself has helped to enlighten others.
Speaker:I appreciate you having me.
Speaker:I truly do.
Speaker:That's our goal, man.
Speaker:Thank you, Andre.
Speaker:Yo, that was Andre Pearson.
Speaker:Dude.
Speaker:How awesome is that guy?
Speaker:He knows a thing or two about a thing or two.
Speaker:I think if you go to a regular, you know, uh, therapist that maybe you get out of
Speaker:a directory from your insurance company.
Speaker:You know a lot of that is just the same old deal.
Speaker:What are the, what are they gonna bill?
Speaker:How much are they gonna get paid?
Speaker:What are the codes going in?
Speaker:It's all the same generic stuff.
Speaker:Yo, if you want something different, you want something natural, you
Speaker:want to have a real conversation, get to the bottom of things and
Speaker:get to the bottom of those things.
Speaker:Call, text, email, send a smoke signal over to Andre Pearson.
Speaker:And if you don't know, not you know, my name is Joey B,
Speaker:we were dropping knowledge.
Speaker:Check out blind Knowledge blind knowledge.com is the spot.
Speaker:It's hot, It's live blind knowledge.com.
Speaker:We got a live stream, we got 18 podcasts and hopefully Andre will join us soon
Speaker:on that platform in some way, shape or form, probably through the live stream.
Speaker:And you can see this interview and many more.
Speaker:Or blind knowledge.com.
Speaker:My name is Joey b I'm gonna go take a cold shower because wow.
Speaker:Information for real.
Speaker:Yo, I hope you have a great night, a great week, yo.
Speaker:Take care.
Speaker:Peace and love.
